


The Best Storyteller

by ZooTycoon223



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Apartment AU, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Sad times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 21:02:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2165094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZooTycoon223/pseuds/ZooTycoon223
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I wrote this specifically because I wanted to write something that didn't have a happy ending. I hope you enjoyed it.</p></blockquote>





	The Best Storyteller

“Church, will you tell me a story?”

Church looked down at Caboose, the other male looking back at him with a smile. His blue eyes flashed eagerly, and Church let out a soft chuckle.

“Sure, buddy, what do you want to hear?”

Caboose paused, exhaling through his nose, “I am not sure, anything would be nice.”

“Alright, well, I know you went to high school with Tucker, but I’m sure you’re curious how I met him, right?”

“I had never thought of that, Church, but you are right, I am very curious.” Caboose grinned.

“Right, well, I never really wanted to be friends with him, it just sorta happened”

_Leonard Church was many things, but he was definitely not the type to enjoy summer camp. He wanted to spend his last summer before high school in his room, in the air condition and away from people. Instead, his parents thought it would be “super fun” if he went to summer camp to “try and meet kids his age and maybe make some friends”._

_Church scoffed as he looked around him, unfamiliar faces filling his vision. He had no intentions of making friends or having fun, and, if he could help it, he’d try to make sure as many other people as he could were miserable too._

_One of the counsellors approached Church, clipboard in her hand and fake smile plastered on her face._

_“And who might you be?” She asked, cheer practically dripping from her voice._

_“Church.” Church replied curtly. The woman nodded, flipping through the pages on her clipboard._

_“Okay, Leonard-“_

_“Church.”_

_“Okay, Church, you’re in cabin 2A. You can head on over there and get comfortable, and then everyone is gathering at noon in the mess hall.” She informed, pointing in the directions of the buildings. Church nodded absently and grabbed his bags, walking off to go find his cabin. The walk was uneventful, he glared at anyone who approached him and ignored any comments they made. He intended to get to his cabin, put his shit there and then stay there until he got hungry or had to go to the bathroom._

_Of course, that plan changed when he walked in the front door._

_“Who the fuck-“ Church stopped in the doorway._

_“Nice to meet you too, asshole.” The male responded. He was easily shorter than Church, with dark skin and short, curly black hair. His brown eyes blinked at Church apprehensively, not sure what he was about to do._

_“They didn’t say shit about roommates.” Church grumbled._

_“What did you expect?” The male questioned._

_“I expected to not be sharing a room with an asshole.”_

_“I’M the asshole? You haven’t even walked yet and you’re causing shit.”_

“Church, Church, is this Tucker?” Caboose interrupted.

“No Caboose, it’s the mailman. Of course it’s Tucker, just be patient and let me tell the story.”

_Church rolled his eyes and stormed over to the empty bed on the other side of the room. He threw his bag at the foot and flopped down onto the bed itself. He may be here, but he had no intentions of getting comfortable._

_“I’m Lavernius, by the way, Lavernius Tucker.”_

_“Yeah, I’m just gonna call you ‘Tucker’.” Church replied._

_“Fair enough. You?”_

_“Church.”_

_“Church?”_

_“Leonard Church, but I prefer Church.”_

_“Last name basis, huh. I can respect that.” Tucker said as he sat down on his own bed. There was an awkward silence before Church sat up and looked over at the other male._

_“So did your parents force you to come here, too?”_

_“What? Nah, dude, I’ve always kinda liked coming to these camps. It gives me a chance to get away and hang out with other people.”_

_“Yeah, that’s what my parents said when they tried to convince me it would be a “super fun time”.” Church said, emphasizing the last few words with air quotes._

_“Well, with that attitude, I’m sure you’re gonna have so much fun.” Tucker rolled his eyes._

_“Look, I’m not a huge people person. In fact, other than you, I don’t plan on meeting anyone. I just wanna make it through the few weeks and then get back to hating the world.”_

_“Church, no offense, but you really are an asshole.”_

_“Hey, I pride myself on that.” Church crossed his arms. Tucker let out a laugh._

_“Too bad you’re so against being nice to people, I think we’d be good friends.”_

_“We’ll see about that.” This time it was Church’s turn to roll his eyes._

“Church, did you become good friends?” Caboose stared at him with questioning eyes.

“I’m getting there.”

_Church watched as Tucker get up off his bed and walked over to the door. He stopped and turned to face Church._

_“C’mon, dude.”_

_“What?”_

_“That thing that the smiling bitch mentioned.”_

_“Oh.” Church paused, thinking back. He hadn’t really listened to what the woman had said after she told him where he was staying._

_“Don’t be lame, just come with me.” Tucker sighed. Church figured he didn’t have anything to lose. Slowly rising from his bed, Church followed Tucker out the door and outside. They passed a few other cabins but Church didn’t pay much attention to the other campers. He planned to play nice with Tucker, because they were roommates, but he didn’t want to make friends._

_“Dude, check out that chick over there.” Tucker said, elbowing Church in the side. Church sighed and looked up. The girl he was referring to was traditionally pretty, slender, long brown hair and all that. Church wasn’t really sure what kind of response Tucker was looking for._

_“Pretty, I suppose.”_

_“You suppose? Alright, alright, she isn’t your type. What about her, or are you looking the other way?”_

_“Tucker.”_

_“Hey, it’s cool, I don’t judge. Just don’t try hitting on me, I gotta keep myself available for the ladies.”_

_“Tucker.” Church practically spat his name out._

_“Okay, relax, I’m just messing around. You’re too tense, dude.”_

_Church stuffed his hands into his pockets and continued to walk next to Tucker until the other male came to a stop._

“Chuuuuurch.”

“What, Caboose?”

“Did you find any cute people at the camp?”

“I wasn’t really looking Caboose, but I imagine they were there.”

“If I was there, would you have thought I was cute?”

“I dunno, buddy, anything’s possible.”

“I bet you were one of the cute people there, Church.”

“Thanks, bud, now let me get back to the story.”

_The pair weren’t sure what to expect, but what they got was what Church would describe as “a bullshit meet and greet”. Church was entirely prepared to turn around and walk out, but Tucker grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him into the group of strangers._

_Church refused to talk to anyone. Tucker insisted he stop being a little bitch, but Church was content in his bitchiness. It had reached the point where Tucker began introducing both of them to new people. Church sat with his arms crossed staring down at the floor._

_“Church,” Tucker said at one point, “At least look up at everyone.”_

_“Fuck that. I don’t even wanna be here.”_

_Tucker shook his head and stood up, grabbing Church by the sleeve. Church allowed himself to be dragged outside._

_“What the fuck is your problem?”_

_“I told you, I don’t wanna be here, I don’t wanna make friends. I don’t even like you.” Church practically shouted. Tucker gritted his teeth._

_“Trust me, you don’t have to worry about people trying to be friends with you. You’re a real piece of shit.”_

_Church was about to reply, but Tucker turned and walked back inside where everyone else was._

“Wow, that Tucker is a big jerk.”

“To be fair, Caboose, he was sort of right.”

_Church wasn’t sure when he decided to return to his cabin. He also wasn’t sure when Tucker had finally come back. He was sure, however, that he planned to avoid conversation with him. Of course, Tucker apparently didn’t get that memo. In fact, Tucker was more than willing to start a conversation as he practically leapt onto Church’s bed, startling him out of his thoughts._

_“What the fuck?” Was all Church managed to sputter out._

_“Look, Church, we need to talk about earlier.”_

_“Wha-“_

_“Maybe what I said to you was a little harsh. I don’t know anything about you, I’m sure you’ve got plenty of friends at home and-“_

_“No, Tucker, you’re completely right about me. I don’t have a lot of friends. I’m an asshole who pushes people away before they get a chance to get close and I get a chance to get attached.”_

_“Well that’s stupid.”_

_“I know that, I just…I don’t know.”_

_“Baby steps, man. Maybe you walk out of this summer camp experience with a friend or two, and we call it a day.”_

_“Where am I supposed to find someone who wants to be my friend?”_

_“Well, you’ve talked to me and one of the camp counsellors.”_

_“You think she’d want to hang out?” Church grinned. Tucker shoved him in the shoulder with a laugh._

“So did you and the counsellor lady become good friends, Church?”

“Nah, buddy, she turned out to be a real bitch, so I settled for Tucker instead.”

“Ah, yes, that makes sense.” Caboose nodded.

“You wanna hear another story, don’t you?”

Caboose nodded again. Church pursed his lips in thought.

“I got one.”

_Church chucked the newspaper across the room with a frustrated sigh. He only had a week to find a new place to live before he was kicked out of his current apartment that his asshole roommate refused to help pay for. But, of course, there was nothing close to where he lived now, and the online ads didn’t do shit to help his situation. Church was about to try again, when he phone began to ring, a ridiculous pop song that Tucker changed it to to fuck with him filling the air._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Church, dude, you gotta answer the phone more nicely, you’re gonna scare people away.”_

_“Trust me, Tucker, if that were possible you’d have been gone a long time ago.”_

_“Wow, fuck you too. So listen, you find a place yet?”_

_“No.”_

_“Okay cool, cause there’s a place available in my apartment building. You should come check it out.”_

_“Tucker, that places is miles away.”_

_“So? Get off your ass, get in your car and drive the fuck over here.”_

_“Tucker-“_

_“Dude, stop making excuses. You said you needed a place, I’m offering you an option, just come fucking look at it.”_

_“Fine.” Church grumbled._

_“Cool, meet me at my apartment in like 20 minutes and I’ll walk over with you.”_

_“Whatever.”_

_“And maybe put a smile on your face before you get here. You need a blow job or something, not that I’m offering.”_

_“Shut the fuck up.” Church said. Tucker laughed and hung up. Church let out another sigh. He grabbed his keys and headed out to his car._

_The drive over to Tucker’s apartment was quiet, probably because Church had muted the radio. He had a headache, and the last thing he needed was more noise. He did have to admit, the complex Tucker lived in was nice, but he still wasn’t entirely convinced it was the right place for him._

_Church knocked on the door a few times and crossed his arms, waiting impatiently. Tucker answered the door shortly after rolled his eyes._

_“I guess you forgot the smile at home.”_

_“Just show me the place.”_

_Tucker shook his head and closed his door, motioning for Church to follow him._

“Church, I know what this is.”

“Hmm?”

“This is the story of how you found the apartment we live in, isn’t it?”

“Yes it is, Caboose.”

“Ooooh.” Caboose’s eyes seemed to sparkle.

_The vacant apartment was almost directly across from Tucker’s, the inside was almost identical, and the price was reasonable, but Church still wasn’t convinced._

_“You are such a whiner.”_

_“Tucker, I’m not gonna settle.”_

_“Dude, it’s perfect for you, the right size, the right price, AND, it’s right across from your best friend, Tucker.”_

_“Not sure about that last part.”_

_“Don’t be a dick, what’s the problem.”_

_“I don’t know…I just-“_

_“Dude, if you say you have a bad feeling about this, I’m kicking you out.”_

“Church, did you have a bad feeling?”

“No, I’m just an indecisive fuck.”

“I know how this story ends though, Church.”

“You do?”

“Mhmm, you got the apartment, and then eventually I moved in.”

“Well, you aren’t wrong.”

“Church, do you remember the time I made cupcakes for your birthday?”

_Caboose planted one last kiss onto Church’s forehead before he was forced to release his grip so the other man could head off to work. Church ruffled his hair as he walked out the door._

_Once he was sure that Church was gone, Caboose looked around the kitchen. See, today was Church’s birthday, and Caboose had been planning on doing something nice to surprise him with for a week now. That’s when there was a knock on the door._

_“Caboose, buddy, we ready to bake?” A voice sang as it stepped into his apartment. A very eager Franklin Donut grinned at Caboose._

_“Um, yes, I am ready…”_

_“What’s the matter, good buddy?”_

_“I do not know how to bake.” Caboose frowned._

_“Well, that’s why I’m here, friend. I’ll help out, and we can surprise Church.”_

_“Yes, I am sure that Church will love the surprise. You know, he loves cupcakes, but he never gets to have any because he’s usually too busy and I don’t know how to make them.”_

_“Well, after today, you can make him all the cupcakes his heart desires.”_

_“That does sound nice.”_

_“Now, Caboose, I’m gonna need you to gather a few things.”_

_“I can do that.”_

_Caboose listened intently as Donut rattled off a list of ingredients that they would need. Caboose dashed around the kitchen, collecting things, and Donut too the chance to inspect his equipment._

_“Not perfect, but I’ve done more with less before.” He said, cracking his knuckles._

_Caboose placed his collected ingredients on the counter next to the assorted bowls and things that Donut had gathered._

_It seemed like a foolproof plan. Donut would call out the ingredient he needed, Caboose would hand it to him, and then he would add it to the mixture. Of course, this was Donut and Caboose._

_The first incident happened when Caboose dropped an egg. He tried to clean it up, but he slipped on it instead, knocking his hand into the bag of flour. A cloud of white filled the kitchen, coating it in a fine powder. Caboose looked up from his seat on the floor, eyes wide and close to tears._

_“No, no, no tears. We still have plenty.”_

_All seemed well, the batter was assembled and Donut was prepared to mix everything when Caboose insisted that he do it. Donut sighed and handed over the mixer._

_“Just make sure the setting isn’t too-“ Donut was cut off when batter splattered all over himself, Caboose and most of the kitchen “-high.”_

_Caboose stood there, batter dripping from his hair and onto the floor, face covered in egg and flour, mixer in his hands, and tears streaming from his eyes._

_“Church is going to be very angry and then I will have ruined his birthday because I am a terrible boyfriend.”_

_“Hey, they say third time’s a charm. Let me take care of everything, and then we’ll let you decorate them, okay?”_

_Caboose nodded, sniffing. Donut grabbed the mixer and, yet again, began the mixture._

_By the time they had actually managed to make a decent batch of cupcakes, the door opened again._

_“Ch-Church, you are home from work early.” Caboose panicked._

_“Yeah, I took the rest of the day off to enjoy my birthday…what happened in here.”_

_“We-I-well, I am sorry Church, I ruined your birthday AND the kitchen.”_

_“Caboose, are those cupcakes?”_

_Caboose nodded, looking down at the ground._

_“And you made them for me?”_

_Another nod._

_“Caboose.” Church said, taking a step over to his messy boyfriend and pulling him into a hug. Caboose let out a confused squeak._

_“I haven’t had cupcakes in forever, and you remembered they’re my favorite. Thanks buddy. Donut, come out of the bathroom, I know you’re here too.”_

_Donut stepped into the kitchen with a laugh, “H-hey, Church.”_

_“Thanks for helping Caboose, I appreciate it.”_

_“Anything for a friend,” Donut grinned, “Y’know, I COULD clean this up while you two go enjoy the rest of the day.”_

_“That’d be great. You can clean this up,” Church grinned, “And I’LL clean up Caboose.”_

“That was the best bubble bath I had ever taken.” Caboose grinned before letting out a sigh.

“Still can’t believe Donut cleaned the kitchen so well.”

“Church…I am tired.”

“H-hey, buddy, we got time for one more story.” Church replied. Caboose nodded with a soft exhale.

“You remember our first date, right Caboose?”

_Church was pacing around the living room nervously. Tucker looked up from the couch._

_“Dude, you’re gonna wear a hole in the floor doing that.”_

_“I’m nervous, Tucker.”_

_“Church, Caboose used to go with you on your dates with Tex all the time, what’s the big deal.”_

_“The big deal, Tucker, is that this is my and Caboose’s first REAL date as a couple. What if he finds out I’m a pathetic asshole and then he moves out and-“_

_“Church, breathe.” Tucker instructed. Church stopped in his tracks, inhaling deeply and holding his breath for a few seconds before blowing it out._

_“Caboose practically worships the ground you walk on. He loves you, dude, it’s gonna take more than a bad date to change that.”_

_“Y-yeah, you’re right.”  Church nodded. He stopped, looking in the direction of Caboose’s room. He walked over and knocked on the door._

_“Caboose, buddy, you ready in there?” Church asked. He waited for a few seconds before walking inside. Caboose was sitting on the bed in his underwear surround by clothes. He was looking around, worried noises escaping his mouth._

_“Caboose?”_

_“Ch-Church, hello, no, I am not ready. I-I do not know what I want to wear.” Caboose frowned. Church looked around before picking up a blue polo and some shorts._

_“It’s just a movie date, Caboose, no need to dress up. This would look good.” He smiled, handing Caboose the outfit. Caboose grinned with a nod and stood up, throwing on the clothes quickly._

_“Thank you Church, I do not know what I’d do without you.”_

_“You’d still be in your underwear…” Church grinned. Not that he minded that image of Caboose, but clothes were sort of the thing you wore in public. There was plenty of time for that later._

_“Church?”_

_“Sorry, buddy, just thinking about something. You ready?”_

_“Yes, we are going to have so much fun.” Caboose grabbed Church’s hand and led him out of the room._

_“You gonna be here all night?” Church asked Tucker._

_“I’m sure I’ll go home at some point, but Wash said he has a surprise.”_

_“Jeez, how long does it take for him to strip and light some candles.” Church rolled his eyes._

_“Hmmm, maybe I’ll go see if he’s ready.” Tucker said, now considering Church’s statement. He got up and made his way out of the apartment. Church barely had time to close and lock the door before Caboose pulled him down to the car._

_“What movie are we going to see, Church?”_

_“I thought I’d let you pick.”_

_“I get to pick?!” Caboose asked excitedly. Church nodded._

_Turns out the movie Caboose wanted to pick was sold out, and so was Church’s pick. They settled for some suspense horror bullshit. Church always hated movies like that, they were way too faked and he could never get into them. Caboose, however, was much easier to draw in, and after the first character got decapitated, his face spent the rest of the movie buried in Church’s chest._

_It wasn’t until they were back in the car that Caboose relaxed._

_“Okay, so next time we don’t see a slasher film.” Church made a note to himself._

_“Church, that was not a good movie.”_

_“Sorry about that, bud. Say, you hungry?”_

_Caboose nodded slowly._

_“What do you want to eat?” Church asked. Caboose put a finger to his chin in thought._

_“I would like pizza.”_

_“Pizza does sound good.”_

“Church.”

“Yeah, buddy?”

“It’s cold.” Church could feel Caboose shiver in his arms as he said that. Church looked up into the dark, unable to make out anything in the storm that was soaking them. The only source of light was the headlights of Church’s car, which sat wrapped around a tree.

“Church, I am really tired. I would like to sleep now.”

“C’mon Caboose, it’s too early for you to sleep. If you sleep now, you’ll have a hard time falling asleep later.”

Church looked down at Caboose, who returned to look with dull, faded eyes. His skin was coated in a mixture of blood, rain and tears, as were his clothes and Church as well.

“Church-“

“C’mon, Buddy, just stay up a little longer. I’m sure they’re almost here.”

“Church, those stories were nice.”

“Yeah, a-and we’ll have plenty of time to make more stories together.”

“You will always be the best storyteller, Church. I’m so glad you let me share the stories with you.”

“N-no, Caboose, don’t go to sleep yet.” Church’s face was wet, it was just the rain, that was all, he was going to be strong for Caboose. He looked down at Caboose, and, with the newly appearing flashing lights, could make out the soft smile that he mouth was curved into.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this specifically because I wanted to write something that didn't have a happy ending. I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
